I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
