Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
