she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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