god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
