based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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