wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm at about main and main street
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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