I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
