I hate your face
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
