this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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