First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
