Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize
