She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
