I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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