the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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