there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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