I swear she didn't look like that last week.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
