Just fell off a train. Bad.
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize