I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize