I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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