whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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