I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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