spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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