new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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