I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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