i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize