I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
