I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
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