dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
