here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
