we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
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