he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
