I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
