sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
