in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
