She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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