Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
