bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
She has the best kind of daddy issues
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
