You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize