Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
