My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
