Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
