there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
