i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
