yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
