do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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