Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
