he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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