Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
