so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Barsexuality is the new black.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
