chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
