I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize