yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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