I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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