Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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