The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
