so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
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