you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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