Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
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