Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
