I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Randomize
