Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Randomize