And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
