if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
