I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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