i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize