remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
