Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
