Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
