Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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