Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
