So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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