1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Is her dick bigger than yours?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
