I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
