went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You were trust falling into bushes
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
