Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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