I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
