He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
